By Xenia Barahona, Dec 12, 2022 in DIVERGENTES
December 7, 2022: the twelfth family visit for the political prisoners, finally with the presence of children, happened after a year and a half claiming this right. Finally, they were able to see one another and hug. How I would have liked to have been there!
Even though you were not able to have the joy of his presence, without a doubt what was most unexpected and moving was when my mother showed you the five photos of the boy, your son, after 542 days of not seeing him, other than in your dreams. I imagine the tears clouding your eyes, the mixture of joy on seeing his little face and the pain of not being able to speak to him or hug him for 17 long months. They tell me that you began to show the photos to those around you. “Look, it is my son!” you said with pride and emotion, while tears fell from your face. You saw how much he had grown. “He has the features of a big boy” you commented. I know that you were not able to keep them. Likewise, I imagine your heart full of love, the need to be with him, to tell him how much you love him and that you are not with him from your own volition…that he might be able to hear it from your voice.
I know that your overflowing love for the little guy is part of your fortitude. I know that thinking of him fills you with strength: in his running around, Eskimo kisses, tickling attacks, in the free and contagious laughter that he evoked in you. It hurts me to think about what you feel daily not hearing: “Let´s play, Mom”. “I love you, Mom,” or “Blessings, good night, Mama”.
I do not know whether you were a witness to the long-awaited encounters, after more than a year, between other fathers and mothers and their children; I do not know whether you saw when they embraced one another and talked. I wonder whether you felt a small thorn in your side, a small one. You are human after all. But you have never been envious of the joy of other people. Your heart is full of empathy, solidarity. You always wanted that those who could, would have their children in their arms. Really, it has been your sense of justice which has always guided you.
I learned that there is a commitment for visits for December 24th and 31st for Christmas and New Year. It is a new opportunity for the fulfillment of that sacred right of having communication with your little one. That you might be able to hear his voice through a phone call; that you might hear that “I love you Mama”. It would not be strange for him to sing you one of his new favorite songs, “Baby Shark, doo-doo, Mommy Shark, doo-doo.”
That he might be able to hear your voice! That you might be able to fill his heart with your words of love, tenderness, and safety! When I talk to him, he always says to me, “Aunt, turn on the camera, I want to see you.” He needs to see you, a video call is feasible in these times of technology, the only thing needed is the willingness to allow it. In the midst of all, to be able to see you is what will give him a bit of confidence that you are here in this world and not just in his memories.
If something as basic as a photograph gave joy to your heart, hearing his voice again and seeing him through a camera would be indescribable. Nevertheless, I cannot remain silent about the cry for freedom, because you are innocent, and your son has the right to grow up with his mother. I want to see you hug the boy in freedom, and that it be that way for the more than 235 families in these unjust conditions. A Christmas, a life without political prisoners.
I love you, dear sister.
(Suyen Barahona is one of the 236 political prisoners of Nicaragua. She is in the jail known as El Chipote in the Office of Judicial Support. She has been held without communication with her five-year-old son since her arbitrary detention on June 13, 2021).